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Antibiotic-resistant superbugs have been a threat for years, but the dreaded future in which available medicines don’t work on deadly diseases seems to be closer than ever. Experts say some bacteria – and gonorrhea appears to be one of them – have an astonishing ability to mutate rapidly, allowing them to evade the drugs meant to kill them.

According to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), the new strain of gonorrhea (Neisseria gonorrhoeae) is resistant to cephalosporins, the class of antibiotics previously considered the most effective when other antibiotics fail to work their magic. It’s shown up in Great Britain, France, Australia, Japan, and northern Europe, so travelers beware.

—Excellent news, everybody: The future has arrived in the form of drug-resistant gonorrhea! Super. Simply super. Luckily an attractive, bedside-table-ready fishbowl of 144 condoms is available for just over $20.  But: What about the stuff that gets up around the sides of condoms, what about that stuff? I think we all have to stop having sex with each other. This orgy is over.



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