How My Job Search Has Been Going

1. Weed through unpaid “internships” and “volunteer/experience” opportunities on Craiglist to find two postings I’m qualified for, would willingly do. Mood: Despondent.

2. Browse Mediabistro for jobs in San Diego, but most jobs are in L.A. Consider possibility of four-hour roundtrip commute. It might not be that bad??? Mood: Optimistic/crazy.

3. Contemplate sex work. Decide too old. Mood: Relieved.

4. Eat chocolate. (Love you, chocolate.) 

5. Take a look at my resume to boost confidence. (I’ve had jobs and will have jobs again!) Mood: Confidence not boosted.

6. Contemplate selling contents of ovaries (“eggs”). Realize I AM too old. Feel biological clock ticking. Mood: Tick tock.

7. Send out desperate sounding email to well-connected family and friends letting them know I’m on the hunt. Get three responses back (two from the same person), none of them a job offer. Mood: Helpless.

8. Wonder why I majored in journalism rather than something sensible like accounting. Mood: Regretful.

9. Perhaps I can get by by working as a barista. Look up barista wages. Perhaps not. Mood: Crying.

10. Wine.

11. Repeat.

12. Start browsing grad school programs.

 

Katie Peoples lives in San Francisco, for now.

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