How to Be a Pirate (Actually)

Need help with your Somili pirate-startup? Reuuters’ Ben Berkowitz has some hot tips courtesy of Jamal’s Pirate Action Group (real name) and their  Hostage-Taking Information Packet. You will first need pirate letterhead and a pirate form letter. “Lest there be any doubt about who Jamal is or what he does, his signature is accompanied by his seal — yes, Jamal has a stamped seal — depicting a skull and crossed swords with the name of the group,” Berkowitz writes. So: Also a stamped steal. In addition, you should take a crash course in how to estimate the value of the ship you’re boarding and the crew you’re taking hostage, and you’re gold. Don’t forget : Weapons to defend yourselves from the armed guards. (You could just go after boats that don’t have them, but insurance payout will likely be low.)

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