You Ordered Your Chai, You Have Your Chai, But You Forgot Your Wallet

The barista will call the cops.

The barista will make you sit in a back room and think about what you’ve done.

The barista will make you call your mom to read her credit card number over the phone.

The barista will say, you never had a wallet, did you.

The barista will say, I knew you were trouble when you walked in.

The barista will take a Polaroid picture of you and then Sharpie an X on your face and then tape it to the cash register.

The barista will physically remove the the chai from your hand and take a long sip of it himself, while keeping eye contact.

The barista will stand on the counter and announce to the room that they are in the presence of a thief.

The barista will pull your wallet out of his apron. “Magic.”

The barista will pull money out of the tip jar, “That was to feed my kids.”

The barista will make you wash dishes.

The barista will be like, just come back and pay for it sometime. No problem.

 

Photo: moonlightbulb

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