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Worst emails to receive when awaiting responses to pitch letters, applications, manuscript submissions, and other assorted dreams, from least to most disappointing activation of Pavlovian response (barring actual bad news):

• JCREW: 30% OFF THROUGH LABOR DAY
• Ann Friedman: This Week’s Newsletter
• Confirmation of receipt of your online Naked Juice Settlement Website Claim
• Back in stock! Frye: Melissa Trapunto. Get it FIRST on VIP.Zappos.com
• tax receipts: charity: water Tax ID #xxxxx
• service.intel@paypal.com : Reciept for your payment to charity: water
• charity: water : Your charity: water donation
• Google Alerts – black holes
• Blair, did ‘Petit guide du parler québécois: 3e édition revue et augmentée’ meet your expectations Review it on Amazon.ca
• Google+: [Acquaintance from freshman year] added you
• McGill LinkedIn Group: [4] discussions [3] comments
• PGW turn on schedul;ed [sic] for blair thornbourgh [sic] @ address 2nd floor
• Reciept for your payment to Spotify
• Photo.JPG [sent from one’s own email address]
• Your Monthly Financial Summary from Mint.com
• New eBill from Capital One
• A friendly reminder from MonthlyInfo
• Delivery Status Notification (Failure)

 

Shannon Palus and Blair Thornburgh live in Philadelphia.

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