So You Don’t Have Curtains…

Having curtains in your windows is one of those adult-ish accomplishments that at least gives you the chance to walk into your apartment at the end of the day and say, “Ah, if nothing else, I have curtains,” or “If nothing else, I finally have an overpriced, ‘real’ trashcan.” “If nothing else, my sponges are less than 6 months old.” <-- one day! I bring this up because over at Brooklyn Magazine our old friend Edith Zimmerman has taken us through her curtain-based journey, under the title How To Achieve Everlasting Happiness (And Install Curtains). It is both enlightening — on a curtain as well as Edith’s soul level — and hilarious:

You often consider getting curtains, but something always stops you. Mostly it feels like there are just a few too many elements—would you need a rod? Or another kind of thing to hang the curtains from? And then there’s the curtain fabric itself. And would you have to hammer things into the wall? Drill? You don’t know, but somehow it feels like too much of a commitment, or effort, even though you know it isn’t. Tension rods? And then how do you get the fabric “on” them? And would you need fabric with grommets on it to thread the rod through? Would homemade look bad if you’re not good at this kind of thing? The bunching, pull-up, pull-down curtains also seem like an option, but somehow the versions you find—wood, pretty slats, nice canvas, etc.—are too fancy and crazy expensive, so eventually you stop looking. But not before you accidentally (or was it?) sign up for the Shade Store’s daily newsletter. And yes, in fact, they are daily. Or sometimes daily. It’s a lot of emails from a curtain store! But it’s a well-done newsletter, and you never unsubscribe.

Not to give away the ending, but things turn out okay for Edith, and if you have some curtain-based woes of your own, there are some helpful tips to aid you in your journey.

Photo: Stephen the Photofan



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