Warmer Weather Means You Too Will Soon Be Employed

Trying to get a job is the worst, as Mallory of The Toast reminds us:

“She was great. Wasn’t she great?”

“She was really great. And Tim loved her, which is key for a position like this.”

“Do you want to light the match this time, or should I?”

“Oh, I’d love to.”

they burn every trace of her application and existence, dancing naked among the flames

Take solace. It is like that for everyone. Remember, you can’t spell “jobs” without “Job,” the once righteous and lucky man who becomes the quintessential Biblical symbol of impotent suffering at the hands of callous and indifferent spiritual forces.

But thanks to what USA Today calls a “spring stunner,” everything will now be different. Better! Because of MILDER WEATHER.

The labor market roared ahead in April as milder weather helped employers add 288,000 jobs — the most in more than two years. The unemployment rate fell to 6.3% from 6.7% — the lowest since September 2008, the Labor Department said Friday.

Give thanks to the sun gods. Soon you too will join the ranks of the employed.

Personal to The Toast: We love you too!

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