Job of the Day: Barista For The CIA Starbucks

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Welcome to the “Stealthy Starbucks,” as a few officers affectionately call it.

Or “Store Number 1,” as the receipts cryptically say.

The baristas go through rigorous interviews and background checks and need to be escorted by agency “minders” to leave their work area. There are no frequent-customer award cards, because officials fear the data stored on the cards could be mined by marketers and fall into the wrong hands, outing secret agents.

Screw Professor Garbage Can, HERE is your movie. Or better yet, the perfect setting for a Sam Lipsyte novel.

The CIA Starbucks looks just like regular Starbuckses, except there is no writing names on cups and if someone questions the baristas too much they’re supposed to report it. Also there is a very long line since employees are working in windowless rooms with no accountability (wait what) and aren’t exactly running in and out and going for walks to ‘grab a coffee’ off the premises.

One female agent said she occasionally runs into old high school and college friends in line at Starbucks. Until then, they didn’t know they worked together. Such surprise reunions are not uncommon. Working at the agency is not something you e-mail or write Facebook posts about, she said.

Normally, during the day, the bestsellers are the vanilla latte and the lemon pound­cake. But for officers working into the night, whether because of a crisis or they are dealing with someone in a different time zone, double espressos and sugary Frappuccinos are especially popular.

I wonder how hard it is to quit your job here.

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