Flying Over The Ocean in Economy Class

original_How_To_Date_a_Flight_AttendantMike: Meaghan, when is the last time you flew on an international flight?

Meaghan: Oh man, a LONG time ago, if Mexico doesn’t count. 2004! Wow. ALITALIA.

Mike: Obviously, mine was like, yesterday, but I’m still kind of astounded each time? Free movies, free booze. Enough bathrooms? That hot towel they give you. Oh, also meals with real silverware. And it’s all included in the ticket.

Meaghan: The silverware is crazy. Were there knives? Wait and hot towels? The last time I did this I was 21 so I only remember the wine.

Mike: Yeah, there was a knife for like, slicing your bread roll, and spreading butter on it! And also your block of brie, if you wanted (lol).

Meaghan: BRIE? Hahahaha. So international flights have somehow preserved the fanciness feeling that flying “used to have,” or whatever, when people wore suits to fly. Wait, I feel like you might dress up to fly. DO YOU?

Mike: Well, I don’t dress down. I essentially wear the same button-down and jeans I would normally wear. I don’t revert to sweatpants. But yes, it does seem people on international flights don’t really revert to sweatpants like they do domestically? They are sitting there and reading the Financial Times!

Meaghan: I am scoffing out loud, ha. I mean, I wear regular clothes on flights, too, though I do like the idea of you owning a tracksuit. Wait so do you think the cost is baked into the tickets? I mean we know it is, duh. But I wonder what it costs.

Mike: It must, be right? Okay, so I just looked up the cost of my ticket (which I did not pay for), and it was $1,190. Which is pretty reasonable for an international flight?

Meaghan: Yes I think so. I think around $1k is good, and less is great, and more is ok. Ha. Those are my ideas of flying. $600 to London is a great deal in the off season. ? I wonder what your hot towel costs them.

Mike: Probably not a lot. Also, I didn’t know what I was supposed to do with it, so I watched the people around me. And they were using it to wash their face, so that’s what I did. I will also note that I was in “economy.” When I transferred in Frankfurt and was seated on the next flight, I sat directly behind “business class.” They pulled the curtain on me, but I could still see what was going on there (what was going on there was that the flight attendant was handing out copies of magazines and then walking around with a bread basket. And then later, serving booze in real glasses).

Meaghan: Oh my god, I love the idea that you can’t give real glass to the PROLES. Although honestly I would be nervous with a real glass on a flight. Did you feel like you were in Snowpiercer? Like maybe you could tear through the curtain and use their bathroom?

Mike: I definitely brought up Snowpiercer! But then the flight attendant asked me if I was sure I didn’t want any champagne or wine, and remembered that flying international, no matter what seat you get, is so much more amazing than flying domestic in the U.S.

Meaghan: This is how they placate us, Mike. With free wine.

Mike: The Wi-Fi is not great though (insert Louis C.K. joke).

Meaghan: I was going to say imagine if you could buy a flight without all of the hot towelry etc., I wonder how much cheaper it would be. But it turns out that exists and it is Spirit Airlines. I made a promise to myself I would never do it again and yet every time I go to buy a flight (just did for Christmas) I am tempted to cross myself.

Mike: Hah, I will pay extra not to have to think about crossing myself!



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