Every Year, Around This Time…

2-weeks-to-christmas 2

Hooray! I bought all my presents! Now I can relax until Christmas!

Wait. Why don’t I have any wrapping paper? What happened to last year’s wrapping paper?

Gaah, why is the line at the post office always so long?

How much does it cost to ship this? THAT MUCH? I should have just sent it via Amazon and told them the smiley-face box counts as wrapping paper.

Okay. I can still relax until Christmas, and I shouldn’t have to spend any more money.

Wait, am I supposed to bring anything to this party?

I should bring something.

No, I should bring the good liquor.

Okay. I can still relax—oh, thank you, is that for me? Oh, merry Christmas!

I should get her a gift. Or a card.

Should I just send cards? I could probably write them all in an evening.

Why don’t I know anybody’s addresses anymore? All I know are Twitter handles.

WHY IS THE LINE AT THE POST OFFICE ALWAYS SO LONG.

Yeah, I’d love to stop by! A dessert to share? I don’t have a kitchen… do you like Oreos? How about a bottle of wine, then? I’ll bring that.

I wish you could bring a half-opened bottle of wine to a party. I already have one of those.

Okay. I shouldn’t have to buy anything else until Christmas. Or New Year’s.

Gaaaaaaaah if I don’t get out the door in the next five minutes I’ll have to take an Uber to the airport.

No. Not Uber. We hate Uber now. Taxi time!

Oh look, I am obliged to buy all the food and drink I will consume over the next 10 hours at this airport.

YES I WANT THE COOKIE THANKS STARBUCKS.

For the next four hours, as we fly to Denver, I can relax until Christmas.

I should really finish one or two more articles on the plane…

OKAY ON THIS SHORT FLIGHT TO CEDAR RAPIDS I WILL RELAX

I WILL RELAX UNTIL CHRISTMAS

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