“Would You Rather?” Real Estate Edition

It’s Real Estate Friday! What, would you rather hear about how four sham “cancer” charities are being sued for bilking donors out of almost $200 million? I thought not. Real estate is emotional enough.

Screenshot 2015-05-22 10.10.19

First, an update on the Startup Castle, about which former inmates — anonymously — have much to say:

Imagine one day having your bed converted into a bunk bed without your consent. Being promised food to be included in the fee you pay only to be yelled at when the food runs out. Witnessing an ex-military dude marching around the house yelling at people who didn’t “keep their shit clean enough”. Beingchastised for not organizing events for the house. Being drawn in to long, inappropriately misogynistic, conversations about sex. Witnessing former room-mates being treated unfairly when they try to terminate their contracts and leave the house.

I think one of the house managers John and Katie hired last year put it best:

“This place is a prison. It’s like living in the Hotel California, except we can’t even drink wine.”

Yikes! That makes me want to have half a bottle, immediately, in sympathy, even though it’s only 10:00 AM and I don’t really drink. 

Would you maybe rather like to live in this shoeboxNicole lives in a shoebox, you say. True. But Nicole’s shoebox is nice and, if it doesn’t really have a kitchen, at least it has its own bathroom. Not to mention it’s significantly less than $1,150 a month.

What sort of desperate monster or foreign exchange student would ever want to live here?

I mean, this place doesn’t even have a bathroom! OK technically it’s right down the hall—probably no further down the hall than the bathroom in your current apartment, but seriously, ew! Well yeah, you share a bathroom with your five housemates now, but this is like super different. You’d be sharing a bathroom with otherstrangers, people you don’t even know from climbing over each other in the shared kitchen!

Also? If you lived here, you’d have to climb into a lofted twin bed like a tiny little child, which is neither cool nor awesome nor would it allow you to sometimes drunkenly pretend you’re piloting a war elephant, which you can do because though the space is small, it’s yours and it’s cheap and you’re alive, baby.

Here is a picture of the shoebox.

via Authentic Realty

via Authentic Realty

OK, well, would you rather live in the shoebox or in the Startup Castle? Or perhaps you’d like to see what’s behind Door #3?

The Long Island house where F. Scott Fitzgerald lived in the early 1920s—and where he began writing “The Great Gatsby,” his best known work—is listed for $3,888,888.

Built in 1918, the Mediterranean-style home measures over 5,000 square feet, with seven bedrooms. …

The home has original details such as a wood-burning fireplace, arched windows overlooking the property and crown moldings, Ms. Mitzman said. A room above the garage that Mr. Fitzgerald is believed to have used for writing is now used as a bedroom, she said.

The novelist and his wife Zelda lived in the Great Neck home from 1922 to 1924.

I’ll bet it gets great light. Green light, of course. BA DUM CHING. I’ll be here all week.

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