Failing At Shoplifting, Life With Kesha

The “Oops, sorry, I totally thought I had paid for that” excuse stops working when you’re ten. Unless you’re a celeb, I guess.

I Will Not Pay for This Dipping Sauce, Good Sir!

Apparently, there are people who feel like paying 25 cents for extra dipping sauce is outrageous! Thankfully, the 68-year-old man was not seriously injured.

Man Steals 10,000 Pounds of Quarters from Parking Meters

An Albany parking meter repair man stole $210,000 worth of quarters from old parking meters he rigged, which he says he used to fund a gambling addiction. The city’s parking commissioner noticed something was amiss when he noticed that the digital pay stations were making a lot more money than the quarter-fed machines. I’m bracing myself next for a story about a 14-year-old hacker who figured out how scrape credit card information from the digital machines.

‘We Had No Idea What We Were Taking’

If you are looking for a feel-good story to end your weekend, this one’s pretty good.

Vampire Town

Lauren Quinn’s essay “Still Moments in Vampire Town” in Vela contains a series of vignettes showing what it’s like to live in Oakland, Calif.—the “robbery capital of America”. Quinn describes a community of people being afraid to be outside at night, and who decide that only walking in groups is safe—essentially living like vampires exist.