Nine is unequivocally the worst number. I say this with authority, because I know numbers. This is not because I’m some kind of mathematical prodigy; I’m barely proficient. However, I do have synesthesia. Synesthesia is a neurological phenomenon where the senses get a bit jumbled. Synesthetes may hear colors, or taste sounds. My version of synesthesia includes ordinal-linguistic personification, which gives my letters colors and my numbers distinct personalities and genders.