Mr. Biscuit’s Rotten Summer

Mr. Biscuit is my best friend. Every morning around sunrise, I wake to his soft, staccato chirp at my bedside, and I peel back the covers to make room for him to join me. With a tiny grunt he springs up to the bed’s surface; it’s about the highest leap he can muster with his lone rear leg. I touch my left-hand fingertips to my side, making a ring of my arm and ribcage, and he curls himself therein. I pull the covers over him. He purrs happily. I go back to sleep until my alarm sounds.

You Can And You Will

Today Is the First Day of the Rest of Your Life

Mr. Biscuit. On the cusp of greatness, or at least of change. A new cabinet, a new life, just a jump away. But will he make the leap? Can he make the leap? He just needs a minute. It will just be a matter of moments. Let’s just watch and see. Very soon, I’m sure. Allow him to gather his thoughts. Take a deep breath. He’ll just save a little money first. Pay down a Visa or two. Then he’ll jump. Just wait. It’ll be great. You’ll see.

How Much Star Cats Have Made Their Owners

Keyboard Cat: $300,000
Grumpy Cat: “a low-six-figure sum” (plus movie option fees)
Mr Biscuit: $0 (as of yet)

The Billfold on the Billfold (Logan and Mike Get Meta)

Logan: Hey MIKE! Let’s talk about this week on the site.

I Hired an Esteemed Cat Photographer to Take Photos of My Cat

Chanan is arguably the preeminent cat photography team in the country. The name “Chanan” is a roundabout abbreviation and concatenation of the husband-wife duo’s first names, Richard and Nancy.